


O For a Muse of Fire

by ButtKickingForGoodness



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Cape Canaveral, Character Study, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon, This wasn't supposed to end like this, but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 16:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19467712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButtKickingForGoodness/pseuds/ButtKickingForGoodness
Summary: Daniel Jacobi returns to Cape Canaveral and does not stop at Publix





	O For a Muse of Fire

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the Falcon Heavy launch and had Feelings.

Daniel Jacobi’s thoughts are too damn loud. 

The wind steals his breath and the surf roars in his ears, but he knows that it won’t be enough to drown them out. That’s not why he’s really here, anyway. 

A small child in too-long pants pushes past him, and he dislodges his bare feet from where the waves have settled sand around them. The small crowd affords him a degree of anonymity, but he pulls his ball cap lower over his face just in case. He freezes when a broad-shouldered woman in board shorts catches his eyes as he does so, and there’s a half moment where he gets ready to run if (when) she calls security down on him. He’s not quite sure what she sees – he’d kept his face out of the news during the return of the Hephaestus survivors well enough that she shouldn’t know who he is – but there’s a glimmer of recognition, or perhaps appraisal, in her hard eyes. She blinks once, frowning, then turns down the beach and slips her hands out of her pockets, deliberately placing herself between him and her friend. The message is clear: I know that you’re a threat, but if you leave me alone then I’ll return the favor. Jacobi lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and fades back into the crowd a step. 

The chatter has picked up a bit, and Jacobi knows without looking at his watch that they have only a few seconds to go. He’s thankful that the launch has been delayed so many days. He’d much rather deal with the hundred or so people that are on the beach today than the thousand who were here just a few days ago. Behind him a father warns his children not to stray too far, and the measured edge of authority in his voice is just enough that Jacobi catches himself straightening his spine instinctively before he scowls and sinks sullenly back into a slouch. 

There’s a collective gasp from the crowd when the boosters ignite. They’re just far enough away that there’s two or three seconds of silence before the sound of the rocket tearing itself from Earth’s gravitational pull shudders through them. Jacobi relaxes as the sound rattles around in his chest cavity, his eyes glued to the brilliantly orange flames of the rocket as it pulls up and to the left. He lets the sound carry him for those few precious seconds where the roar is so all-consuming that it pushes everything else out of him. He breathes, and the clean sea air fills his lungs uninhibited.  
But the sound fades away too soon, and the noise of the surf and the chatter of the crowd creep back in uninvited. They itch, worming under Jacobi’s skin and burrowing into his brain. He grits his teeth and waits.

The broad-shouldered woman, overcome by the launch, has lost her awareness of him, instead gesturing wildly to her friend, a petite blond who laughs, responding in an easy banter that awakens pangs of jealousy and grief that Jacobi has been trying to ignore for a very long time. 

Things are better with the Hephaestus crew now. Apparently nearly dying while stopping your former boss from wiping out the human race and then demolishing his company creates a sort of tenacious comradery that even Jacobi finds hard to break. 

The new Eiffel is a pretty decent guy, all things considered. Good sense of humor, once he’d found it. Lovelace on Earth is just as frighteningly competent as she was in space.

And as for Minkowski… 

Well, it’s not the same. 

Kepler would have laughed. Jacobi and her have come to a mutual respect. It’s almost funny. He may not feel the desire to rip Minkowski to shreds every time he sees her anymore, but he doesn’t miss Maxwell any less. He thinks those two things should be connected, but somehow they’re not. He can hear Kepler’s voice in his ear, telling him where to point his gun, but it has no compulsion left in it. He is empty.

The crowd noise picks up again. Jacobi looks to the clouds and watches the first re-entry burn of the boosters, then the second. They land, silent, and Jacobi turns away. He slips through the small cluster of people and walks back towards where he’d parked. He breathes deeply, one breath, then two. 

On his fifth breath the twin sonic booms slide through him. The roar is back, filling his ears, filling his lungs, filling his brain until he can’t hear his own thoughts. 

Jacobi smiles, a bitter, twisted thing that feels far too at home on his face. 

It is enough.


End file.
